by Charity Garnett
There is a space, which before I went on a Burgs retreat, I barely recognised as a part of myself. This is the place in which I meet myself, where my normal commentary of endless to do’s and will do’s, half did and wish I did better, next time I will and when this happens that will, endless rounds of self flagellation and self congratulation, resolutions and resulting possibilities that don’t last beyond that thought, pause, and I am left in presence, and awareness.
The moments where I feel what I feel, I inhabit where I am right here right now. Meditation brings me to this brink of my existence, as can calming down enough to really see and feel a beautiful natural place, the feeling of being really understood by a dear friend, when emotion, good or bad rises so high my heart breaks open and I really am where I am. When I have danced myself into a trancelike joyous calm, when I have ears to hear music, usually live, that wakes me up. Holding a freshly born baby, seemingly unsullied by the world, in its hangover of peace and presence.
As a nurse,