Blog

27 February 2015

The real ground of my life

|
1 Comment

by Charity Garnett

[groups_non_member group=”Registered”]There is a space, which before I went on a Burgs retreat, I barely recognised as a part of myself. This is the place in which I meet myself, where my normal commentary of endless to do’s and will do’s, half did and wish I did better, next time I will and when this happens that will, endless rounds of self flagellation and self congratulation, resolutions and resulting possibilities that don’t last beyond that thought, pause, and I am left in presence, and awareness.

The moments where I feel what I feel, I inhabit where I am right here right now. Meditation brings me to this brink of my existence, as can calming down enough to really see and feel a beautiful natural place, the feeling of being really understood by a dear friend, when emotion, good or bad rises so high my heart breaks open and I really am where I am. When I have danced myself into a trancelike joyous calm, when I have ears to hear music, usually live, that wakes me up. Holding a freshly born baby, seemingly unsullied by the world, in its hangover of peace and presence.

As a nurse,

 

To read this entire blog please log in

[/groups_non_member]
[groups_member group=”Registered”]There is a space, which before I went on a Burgs retreat, I barely recognised as a part of myself. This is the place in which I meet myself, where my normal commentary of endless to do’s and will do’s, half did and wish I did better, next time I will and when this happens that will, endless rounds of self flagellation and self congratulation, resolutions and resulting possibilities that don’t last beyond that thought, pause, and I am left in presence, and awareness.

The moments where I feel what I feel, I inhabit where I am right here right now. Meditation brings me to this brink of my existence, as can calming down enough to really see and feel a beautiful natural place, the feeling of being really understood by a dear friend, when emotion, good or bad rises so high my heart breaks open and I really am where I am. When I have danced myself into a trancelike joyous calm, when I have ears to hear music, usually live, that wakes me up. Holding a freshly born baby, seemingly unsullied by the world, in its hangover of peace and presence.

As a nurse, I feel it sometimes when in amongst the busyness of competing concerns and priorities, I look a patient in the eye, and feel where they are, for in their suffering they are present, or they know the extraordinary rarity and preciousness of their existence. It is a felt experience of being present with myself, so that good or bad, I am not using my thoughts or activities to distract and numb me from the reality of my life.

This is the battleground and the fairground and the real ground of my life. This is the way of being I think I will have at all the stand out moments of life, and how I was when I was born, and how I will be when I die. And the planning and the insulating and escaping from my existence, is not the times I will remember, are not the times that count.

Sitting my first retreat with Burgs gave me the supported space to calm down into this place, for the first conscious time in my life. From that recognition and experience, huge, life changing insight and inspiration has grown. I am immensely grateful and recommend anyone to take the time to sit with themselves for a week, with Burgs as a teacher.[/groups_member]

1 Response

  1. Kirsten Baker

    This is such a beautiful piece of writing Charity and really encapsulates the peaceful space one learns to access via studying and meditating with Burgs. It shows both the personal and collective benefits of meditation as presence is recognised when alone and then also seen in others. Sadhu, sadhu, sadhu!

Leave a Reply