There is a Bliss in being left alone

by Emily Elgar

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I came on my first retreat a few months after my little sister died in tragic circumstances. I had spent much time crying, furious with the loss of her. I felt cheated by life, I didn’t know how to be in the world and not be her big sister.

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[groups_member group=”Registered”]I came on my first retreat a few months after my little sister died in tragic circumstances. I had spent much time crying, furious with the loss of her. I felt cheated by life, I didn’t know how to be in the world and not be her big sister.

My first retreat was a swirling maelstrom of weeping, wailing and raging. What a release it was! There was a certain bliss in being left alone with my pain. Not having well meaning but misguided people try and ‘fix’ me when I needed to be how I felt: shattered.
It was on this retreat that Burgs told me the only way I could help my little sister was to do good things in her name. It was a transformative moment. By offering her the merit from my worldly doings I found a new way to love her, a new way to be her big sister. Now, no matter how small the triumph may be, in my heart I give her all merit and thank the universe.[/groups_member]